Intimately You

Intimately You! Advice from Dr. Jess: 5 Ways to Orgasm

Episode 3 of Intimately You is all about orgasms and how they can sometimes be elusive. There are known factors that can prevent us from enjoying an orgasm like body image, stress levels, timing, but for anyone struggling, Dr. Jess has 5 ways to help you achieve that ultimate experience of sexual pleasure.

Running Water

If you have a detachable shower head or have the luxury of having your own swimming pool with jets, you’re in for a treat! According to Dr. Jess, of all the physical approaches to orgasm, experimenting with running water is one that her clients rave about while learning to climax. If water isn’t enough on it’s own to create a wave of pleasure, the cool or warm temperature can awaken nerve ending and help you relax and put you in the mood.

Grind On The Outside 

Dr. Jess says to forget all the poking, prodding and penetrating! Instead, she recommends focusing on a little rubbing and grinding against the exterior portion of your lady part.

  • Wrap your hand around your vulva or press a vibrating toy against the outside of your clitoris
  • Try pulsing and rubbing along the full length until you find a technique that works for you
  • Once you figure out what works for you, share your new techniques with your partner

Cross Your Legs

Try crossing your legs to create a tighter sensation and increase frictions against your clitoris during intercourse. A snug sensation caused by squeezing your legs together might just be what you need to reach climax.

Dr. Jess says that some of the nerve and circulation pathways that traverse the genital region also extend into your thighs making this area a hotbed of sexual energy.


Try squeezing and releasing your Kegel muscles in rapid succession as you approach orgasm. With each stroke during intercourse, practice tensing and relaxing. Some women find that shallow penetration with rhythmic Kegels can produce multiple orgasms.

Stimulate the Vagus Nerve

Experts agree that there are many ways to reaching an orgasm. Beyond the pudendal, pelvic and hypogastric nerves, which are thought to be activated through the clitoris, vagina and uterus respectively, scientists have now discovered another pathway to orgasm: the vagus nerve.

Dr. Jess explains that this wandering nerve not only innervates the pelvic region allowing activation through the vagina, cervix and uterus, but actually bypasses the spinal cord altogether en route to the brain. Researchers Dr. Barry Komisaruk and Dr. Beverly Whipple reached this conclusion when observing the brain activity of women with complete spinal cord injury.

If you find that traditional forms of stimulation don’t lead to an orgasm, you can explore the vagus nerve.

  • Try curling three fingers up against your G-Spot  (just inside your vagina on the upper/stomach wall) while simultaneously pulsing against this area from the outside using a flat palm.
  • You can also explore the orgasmic potential of your cervix with a long toy or vibrator.
  • Since the vagus nerve is a wandering pathway, try stimulating other parts of your body and allow the erotic sensations to spread beyond your genitals.

To watch Episode 3 or all the Intimately You episodes, visit

Ask Dr. Jess! Wondering what product to buy? How to use it? Looking for relationship advice in the bedroom? Whatever your question, Dr. Jess is sure to have an answer! She excited to answer your questions, so don’t be shy!  You can submit your question discreetly on or by leaving a comment on the blog!

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