How do I get out of my head and into my body? We tend to move through life distracted, and all this mindlessness detracts from human connection and fulfilling relationships. Mindfulness can help improve relationships and your sex life! Episode 1 of Intimately You with Dr. Jessica O’Reilly (Dr. Jess) and her guest, Luna Matatas, Sex & Pleasure Educator is all about mindful sex!
What is a full body orgasm?
“I think most of us know an orgasm as something that happens in our genitals,” explains Luna Matatas. “A full body orgasm actually involves more regions of our bodies. There are lots of our erogenous zones. For some people they feel like tingles, muscle spasms, and might even come with an emotional release like giggling or crying. For lots of people it involves the experiences and sensation of pleasure beyond just their genitals.
“I want to take sex to the next level with my partner. I know that there are many different erogenous zones on the body… but I’m unsure of where they all are? I want to blow my partner’s mind! How can I do this? ~ Daniel
“I love this questions, and if gives us more opportunity to involve more of our body and our erotic imagination,” says Luna. “Erogenous zones are areas where we might feel some of the same stimulation or similar kind of vibes as if we were to have our “go-to” hot spots touched. They’re usually areas that have more blood flow near the surface like your wrist, neck, inside of your arm., back of your knee—those are all erogenous zones that can help you get even more excited and be more receptive to sensation as we start to get aroused.”
“I’m so self-conscious during sex. How do I get out of my head and let go of distractions so that I can actually get over the top?” ~ Amanda
“I’m so glad Amanda brought us this question, because so many people are struggling with this! You are not alone and there are definitely things you can do to get out of your head and sink back into your body,” Luna says. “We may enter sex through our brains, but we want to land in the sensations of the pleasure we can create with ourselves or with our partners. One of my big techniques is BREATH. So easy, but we forget to do it!” says Luna, adding that when we tense up, we forget to breath and we tense up. “Our body needs more space for that flow—that erotic energy, that arousal juice to be able to take up more space in our body so we can have more pleasure.”
“Another big thing that people do is we rush through things. We have this sort of menu that we start with kissing, then move to the next area, then the next… When we slow things down, we actually give the body a chance to absorb what’s happening. For a lot of us, we’re getting to the end of sex too quick and we’re missing all of the pleasure and connection that can happen if we just slow things down.”
This is where toys that can be used to tease your partner come into play and Dr. Jess and Luna both recommend them! When you can’t see what’s happening, you’re mind actually stops predicting the next step. So you’re creating conditions where teasing, flirting and seduction can happen!
Tickle your fancy (or your partner’s) with this feathery beginner’s bedroom accessory. Topped with fluffy marabou feathers, this mini tickler awakens nerve-endings all over to heighten sensitivity and build through-the-roof arousal and anticipation.
“I’ve heard about the G-Spot, but is it real? How do I find it? ~ Jamie
“The g-spot likes firm and consistent pleasure. A curved g-spot vibrator is probably the best way (especially if you’re just starting out) to try and find your g-spot”, says Luna.
“What you’re describing is our first technique for full body pleasure! The G-spot is actually associated with full-body orgasms because of it’s nerve pathways that communicate through the brain and wander throughout the body,” explains Dr. Jess.
Let waves of pleasure ripple through your intimate canal with the Desire G-spot Vibrator. A heavenly curved creation crafted from soft silicone that offers sensuality and blissful sensations from its 8 vibration patterns and 12 levels of intensity.
Dr. Jess’ Best for Last Tip!
“My absolute favourite technique is the “head-to-toe” erotic massage. It involves exploring every square inch of your body or your partners using just the backs of your hands or your lips or your breath,” explains Dr. Jess. “You can use the spider-pull where you gently use all five fingers and pull them together. Or my absolute favourite is the liquid trace, which involves using massage oil, lube or your tongue to create a path that’s nice and cool and then breathing warm air along that wet path—along the lower back, the collar bone, the inner thigh. The point is to stimulate every square inch of the body!” Dr. Jess recommends doing this for 5 to 10 minutes to awaken every nerve ending so that you draw circulation and awareness to every last spot before you get to the good stuff!