Do you consider yourself kinky? You may be surprised to find out you’re “Kinkier” that you think! Dr. Jess and guest, Lovehoney Canada Expert, Luna Matatas, unpack this provocative premise and explore how a little “kink” can add to a healthy and satisfying sex life!
Kinky sex gets a bad reputation when we think about pop culture representation, but according to Dr. Jess, it’s common and healthy.
“When people are talking about kinks, they’re usually talking about something outside of what we consider “normal” sex. So that means the definition of kink can range. Fetishes are usually based on sexual arousals based on an object or body part that isn’t necessarily considered sexual,” explains Luna.
“There is so much fun in kink. It’s combining playfulness and stimulating our erotic imagination. It allows us to pivot into different kinds of pleasure that we may not access all the time. There is so much erotic creativity in kink!” says Luna.
“I think power is seductive,” says Luna when asked why people are drawn to submissive and dominating role playing. “Whether you’re surrendering that power or your taking that power. For a lot of people it could be about transitioning into an erotic space that is different in the kind of power you have in your day-to-day. For other people, it’s about pivoting into a specific emotion like fear, admiration, worship. The power dynamic allows couple to co-create this experience different kinds of erotic feelings.”
While some people like to exude confidence outside of the bedroom, in a safe environment, some people want to deprive themselves and play with the darker emotions.
Surprising Sex Fact: Spanking tops the list of kinky play activities! A survey of 4, 500 adults conducted by Lovehoney revealed that 75% of women & 66% of men have played with spanking in the bedroom!
Your fantasies are likely common! According to a Canadian study, 38% fantasize about being photographed or filmed during sex, 49% fantasized about being tied up and 54% fantasize about dominating a partner.
“My BF keeps asking me to be more dominant in the bedroom and I want to try, but honestly, I prefer when he takes control. How can I learn to be more dominant? I’m sure I’ll like it.” ~ Danielle
” I think a lot of times dominance and submission gets stuck in masculine and feminine, but kink is infinitely creative!” explains Luna. She has a few tips on how to be more dominant in the bedroom.
Talk with your partner about what “dominance” means to you
Set up a communication system for safety
Try being dominant during a sexy activity you already enjoy
Ask Dr. Jess! Wondering what product to buy? How to use it? Looking for relationship advice in the bedroom? Whatever your question, Dr. Jess is sure to have an answer! She excited to answer your questions, so don’t be shy! You can submit your question discreetly on TSC.ca/IntimatelyYou or by leaving a comment on the blog!