Intimately You

Intimately You! Season 3 Episode 4: Bust Out of a Sex Rut!

Has your intimacy oasis become a desert? Sexologist Dr. Jess explores ways to help you re-ignite passion with your partner and bust out of a sex rut with Javay da BAE, Sex Educator, WOW Tech!

A sex rut can look different for different people and couples and according to Javay the best way to explain a sex rut is if you and your partner are not aligning when you want to have sex, not communicating about sex or there is no interest on either side.

“The most common causes are the external aspects of life,” explains Javay. “Stress from work, school, finances—all those stressful pieces from day-to-day living actually can compound further into your sex life. The brain is the biggest sex organ and if it’s thinking about all the other things in life, it’s probably not prioritizing pleasure.”

Javay has a few tips to break out of a sex rut!

  • Schedule sex
  • Intentionally set the mood and scene
  • Spend more time getting into the mood
“Help! My husband and I haven’t been intimate in 10 years. Where do we start?” ~ Marilyn

“My advice would be to start with reflection,” Javay says to determine where things changed. “Then get nostalgic. Think back to what really worked to get you in the mood and then try to recreate it. And then, incorporate something new.”

We-Vibe Chorus Couples Vibrator

Worn during sex, Chorus adjusts to fit your body for just-right stimulation on both the clitoris and the G-spot. Chorus’ Squeeze Remote was designed with the most natural human response in mind. The tighter you squeeze, the stronger the vibration gets – and vice versa. When you want a little bit more (or less) stimulation, it’s right there. Chorus’ responsive controls mean every couple can find their vibe. Touch-sense lets you control Chorus’ vibrations with your movements. When you touch or move against the sensor, the vibration level changes.

Hot Tip! In a sex rut? Your most important sex organ is your mind, so…consider sexting! Sending your partner a naughty message to let them know you’re fatasizing about them can be an exciting way to reconnect.

Arcwave Ion

Pleasure Air is a powerful new type of stimulation based entirely on pulsating airwaves. As the only product specifically designed to target the Pacinian pleasure receptors in the frenulum, Ion promises some of your most intense orgasms yet. These receptors are highly sensitive and respond well to acceleration and deceleration. Pleasure Air optimally stimulates these receptors for a new orgasm experience.

Romp Shine Clitoral Vibrator

A well-rounded pleasure tool, featuring an elegant shape, 10 levels of pure bliss and an impressive battery that’s ROMP Shine.

Romp Juke Cockring

Press play on a little something extra. The flexible ROMP Juke is ergonomically shaped to rest comfortably in your palm. Take satisfaction into your own hands.

Romp Wave Lay On Vibrator

Reach your own crest with the ROMP Wave. This small yet powerful clitoral stimulator features a subtle design to make sure it’s nightstand friendly.

To watch Season 3, Episode 4 with Indigenous actress, model and motivational speaker Ashley Callingbull also pays a visit, to discuss how her cultural identity informs her relationships and sexuality visit

Ask Dr. Jess! Wondering what product to buy? How to use it? Looking for relationship advice in the bedroom? Whatever your question, Dr. Jess is sure to have an answer! She excited to answer your questions, so don’t be shy!  You can submit your question discreetly on or by leaving a comment on the blog!

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