Has your intimacy oasis become a desert? Sexologist Dr. Jess explores ways to help you re-ignite passion with your partner and bust out of a sex rut with Javay da BAE, Sex Educator, WOW Tech!
A sex rut can look different for different people and couples and according to Javay the best way to explain a sex rut is if you and your partner are not aligning when you want to have sex, not communicating about sex or there is no interest on either side.
“The most common causes are the external aspects of life,” explains Javay. “Stress from work, school, finances—all those stressful pieces from day-to-day living actually can compound further into your sex life. The brain is the biggest sex organ and if it’s thinking about all the other things in life, it’s probably not prioritizing pleasure.”
Javay has a few tips to break out of a sex rut!
- Schedule sex
- Intentionally set the mood and scene
- Spend more time getting into the mood
“Help! My husband and I haven’t been intimate in 10 years. Where do we start?” ~ Marilyn
“My advice would be to start with reflection,” Javay says to determine where things changed. “Then get nostalgic. Think back to what really worked to get you in the mood and then try to recreate it. And then, incorporate something new.”
Hot Tip! In a sex rut? Your most important sex organ is your mind, so…consider sexting! Sending your partner a naughty message to let them know you’re fatasizing about them can be an exciting way to reconnect.
To watch Season 3, Episode 4 with Indigenous actress, model and motivational speaker Ashley Callingbull also pays a visit, to discuss how her cultural identity informs her relationships and sexuality visit TSC.ca/IntimatelyYou
Ask Dr. Jess! Wondering what product to buy? How to use it? Looking for relationship advice in the bedroom? Whatever your question, Dr. Jess is sure to have an answer! She excited to answer your questions, so don’t be shy! You can submit your question discreetly on TSC.ca/IntimatelyYou or by leaving a comment on the blog!